By your death bed, I am dear world

"Love is watching someone die... so who's going to watch you die?"

This quote as been in my head for about a week now. It is a good question though, who will be by your death bed, watching you die? Moreover, isn't it a depressing and scary thought to think that since no one is willing to be there with you in your final moments, that you are loveless. The quote however brings up feelings of hate for me; anger at those I know I would be there for them... yet they will rather leave me to die alone.

Nevertheless, this quote carries on to me about the current food crisis worldwide.
I been keeping track of the this food crisis since last year actually, reading about it on National Geographic, yet this week, I really got on it since now we have videos from BBC and The Real News Network have sent reporters with cameras to document the effects of this crisis.

What really gets to me is how they always follow a loving family--mother, father, children-- and how they are trying to survive despite how hard they try and how much they care about each other. It's so sweet how these families are it's damn right unamerican with how American families are today.

And yet, who's the one not starving?! The loving family, no. It's the Americans. I think we are so sheltered from sad realities of not only the world outside our gates but as well as we are in denial of problems. I guess this is why America is the land of bliss, eh?

Nevertheless, I want to watch the other families from these third world countries; maybe someday I can do something, maybe even revenge them. This is where the relation comes in:

"Love is watching someone die... so who's going to watch you die?"

If you know me, you'll know that in reality I am a very passionate humanitarian and that I am very caring and fatherly; the reason why I have this appeal of evil intend and such is because in all honesty, I hate certain people: the rich, the selfish, the ignorant, and the undeserving. Sadly, I hate to say this, but that's to a part of this society that the American people have placed, and who can blame them, they are so happy, but I'm not.

Hopefully, we won't have to be watching our children cry in pain of hunger... Nevertheless, I watch on, being there in case they spot they stand becomes their death bed.

Screech crash.

I got into an accident today. No I wasn't hurt. Yes my car is ok. But it really made me open my eyes as to whats going on with the freeways.

A semi truck had stopped in the rightmost lane of the freeway in order to change lanes to the left. Moving from a stop to a crawl to change lanes on a freeway is a fucking terrible idea, and frankly I think this trucker should lose his license for such an act of stupidity. Never in the history of forever is it acceptable to move 5 miles per hour on a 70 mph freeway. However I do give the trucker some credit for not forcing his way into oncoming traffic like a bully.

The problem here is that he decided to change lanes when I was barreling towards him at 70 miles an hour. With no where to go but forward, I had no choice but to slam on my brakes and come to a screeching halt mere feet from the truck. And then I was rear ended.

There was a very minor scratch on my bumper, but nothing more. I didn't even look at the other guy's car because frankly I did not care, and legally he is at fault for rear ending me, and if I did not care then I'm sure he was relieved.

I make a point to let all trucks that need to change lanes do it in front of me. I will purposely slow down and impede traffic behind me to clear some space for a truck to move, because I know how hard it must be to drive that mammoth around. And also because I hate getting run off the road by an asshole trucker.

Creative problem solving.

How do we assess and solve a problem? As humans, I mean, most of us would tend to follow a basic pattern. Assess the situation, think logically about possible solutions, apply the solution that would appear to work the best, repeat if necessary. Its a very clear cut human process.

The process itself is not the thing that separates people, but how they choose to go about the process. Some people take measurements, chart graphs, calculate, analyze, work within the realm of what they know and what they have done before. Others like to stretch those bounds and try to apply something so wild eyed and crazy that no one thinks its going to work until it does.

When bound by conventional means it is often easy to forget even the most basic methods of solving a problem. For so long we have been Dependant on machines and computers and calculators and automatic power tools that the solutions of those many generations older than us are forgotten in the mist of time. This is not exactly a bad thing, but when you do not have the aid of modern conventions, how do you solve a modern problem?

An example, Wally Wallington presents the problem:

How did stone-age humans erect Stonehenge without the use of any modern tools?

The solution of course is simple. But you would never think of it in today's world, because we have all become attached to cranes and lifts and other modern tools that make a job like lifting a heavy object take mere minutes.

The ability to realize an alternative solution to a basic problem, that is creative problem solving.

Metaphysicalizing

Yes, I know that's not a real word first off.

But yeah, I noticed as I was working on improving my computer and iPhone how I was trying to get more done through the computer and electronic being instead of physical. What I mean is instead of having books and actual papers and such, I was trying to replace them with .pdf files and such. Making charts with openoffice.org, looking for ebooks to replace any future or current books I have.

Then I realized that a person I know might be more in tune with the world than I am, since she believes so deeply in physical being and in a way this made her kinda swallow, believing that its best to limit oneself to the tangible world.

I, on the other hand try my best to become more metaphysical. Relying less on physical things to do my betting, and more on my mind and electronics. But why? Why is there this tangible vs. metaphysical thing? (or as some will put cyber vs. steam)

Well, look at the pros of metaphysics. We have video games to simulate our wildest dreams. We play boardgames with no loss. We are physically sheltered in a metaphysical world, not worrying of death. Instead, the cost is deeper than just a bruise, its the rape of one's heart and mind at times. To experience something purely new and beyond oneself. Of course, one might say that I'm being a bit extreme, since a game is just a game.

Then again, any media/medium is just any media/medium. Think about the effects that media/medium has on you. It doesn't physically beat you up or try to kill you. It does something different, almost scary. Words are more threatening than pictures folks, pictures are just there, but words can describe so much more.

Nevertheless, I try my best to metaphysicalize, in an attempt of freedom. My current goal is developing my iphone into a better e-reader and to get a tablet pc to allow e-reading with note taking and such on the file. Hence having less physical books and such. I'm even trying to find where to buy e-manga to limit the amount of space. In the end I want to have just my bedding, my clothes, and electronics only in my room (neglecting food, soap, etc, stuff that will be consumed).

However, there's a greater freedom in metaphysics. I noticed that through the laws of physics and trained inquiry, a physicist (such as myself, despite much a novice) can easily handle physical tasks such as fitting a car or making an electrical generator, due to the metaphysical notions of electric.

I'm not going to say I'm totally metaphysical, but I believe that the best way to interact with the world is to have time to think about the deeper things that rule the world and such. That we should use metaphysics in the physical world.

An example of this that I love is Geo-Hashing.
Basically an algorithm, a series of mathematical procedures, given your location and the day, generates a coordinate. The game of Geo-Hashing is to go to that given coordinate.

As the wiki says:

"Geohashing is a Spontaneous Adventure Generator, brought to you by the xkcd webcomic."

Yet, this generator is totally metaphysical! It's just a bunch of mathematics that you use to create a physical adventure. Isn't that amazing!

I guess what I'm trying to get at is, maybe we should be chasing for things that are beyond money and living. Like honor, love, fame, glory, justice, freedom-- all only having value if we believe they have value.

- Edward U

P.S. I think this quote is about email

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there.

- Scott Adams

i...What?!

Okay, so today I realized while getting apps for my iPhone, I almost don't use it as an actual cellphone. I use it more of a internet tablet, a notepad, an e-reader, a camera, a flashlight, a shield, a mirror, a planner, a mp3 player, a portable movie player, a recorder, a quick reference tool, etc.

However, I am very glad I am using it beyond a cellphone that I can grope. Though, I am a bit surprised that a new generation iPhone will be coming out this summer. Not that I'm pissed off I brought the iPhone a bit early, I'm more pissed off that they are going to call this new model a better model. The only plus side to it is true GPS (however this is possible on the current iPhone with some hacking) and G3 (but the EDGE network works fine). However, for just these (and supposely more memory, but really the iPhone isn't a flashdrive, and even then most flashdrives don't have 4 GB, yet alone 8 or 16 or 2^some number below 5) you get a plastic design (think the iPod Touch but the back is plastic too) and an extra $100+.

At this point, I need to step my foot down, saying "what the hell is going on?!". Oh well, enough ranting about the new, back to the good old and current.

As described in paragraph 1, the iPhone is a useful tool and I enjoy it a lot despite being a newly open-sourcer. The fact of the matter is, it's quite a useful tool.

So useful, I want a steampunk version of it! Don't you think an iPhone would be handy in a gunfight or something? Of course it will need to be outfitted and such to make it more worthy of a metal plate as a last resort and such.

Oh well, I'm rambling on about my iPhone now, but I have another topic to add.

I'd noticed that more and more, I try to put my dependency on less and less, i.e. instead of a bunch of crap, all in one in the iPhone. I think this is showing my distrust in general. I mean, if you think about it, if you be careful and only pick a few things or even people to be depend on, you are most likely to not be betrayed, of course you will also end up more fucked if you are.

I bring this up in relation to the ballad The Taw Corbies (The Two Crows).
Where basically a knight who dies in battle is abandoned by his "loyal" friends (symbolized as a hawk and hound) and his lover after hearing about his dead doesn't mourn nor care, she finds a new lover (In the Netherlands' version, his lover played a role of killing him). Thus, leaving his corpse to be eaten by two crows.

What I am trying to get at is that maybe we should be more distrustful of people than we are. That we cannot trust a multitude of people and things, but we need to find ones we can truly trust and depend upon when we need them.

Many will say I am being a cynic for say such things, I believe I am just giving fair warning to all.

Offing yourself.

I've been thinking a lot about suicide lately. Not my own life, I have no reason to kill myself. But suicide in general, the act, the reason, why someone would feel the need to take their own life to "escape" all the pain.

Specifically though I've been thinking a lot about the method's people choose. Hanging, overdose, jumping off of bridges, all things that, in the physical sense, affect only the person killing themselves. To me, while the act of suicide is not acceptable, at least you are not injuring someone else.

What really gets me though is the people who are so angry at the world, or a specific person or group of persons, that they would take their own life and the lives of those around them, whether its a murder suicide, a suicide bomber, or a school shooting. How many times have you heard about those in the news lately?

Recently a friend of mine that I have grown distant from experienced a loss of two of her friends when a drunk driver hit their car head on driving on the wrong side of the 5 freeway. Reports were mixed up for a while as to what happened, and everyone at first concluded that it was a drunk driver who hit the car, killing 2 of the 4 passengers and injuring the remaining 2, in addition to killing himself in the process.

2 young ladies dead, 2 more people in critical condition, all by the results of one drunk driver. You could write it off like that. It would make a good story for drivers ed. "Don't drink and drive."

But the thing that makes this even worse is that they found a suicide note (not sure where, probably in the car) of the drunk driver. He apparently got drunk, decided he was going to off himself, wrote the note, and drove down the freeway looking to slam into anyone he could once he got up to speed.

So heres where I get into my issue of methods. Like I said, I don't agree with suicide, but I at least respect that most people have the decency to kill themselves and not someone else. But here we have someone so angry at the world, so horribly depressed with his own life, that he felt it was a good idea to ruin the lives of, potentially, 4 more people.

Now here is where things get really heart breaking. In this case, 2 girls died, to two lives are ruined. But those girls have parents, so 4 more lives are ruined. Siblings? Grandparents? The lives affected by death are not just the lives of the dead, but the lives of those around them as well.

And what if it had been another car? Something larger? Most SUV's nowadays seat at least 5 people, my grandma's Odyssey seats 7. What if he had nailed something that big with 7 people who were all friends, not related to each other. Each with a mother and a father, perhaps one or two siblings. 7 people + 14 parents + siblings + grandparents + friends + children? You're looking at a whole lot of fucking upset people who's lives will be altered forever.

All because one drunk asshole had to go and kill himself in a car, instead of with a bullet to the brain, or even a cold nap at the foot of a tall building.

Its sickening. Absolutely sickening. I don't even know the two girls who were killed, and I still feel awful.

GET SICK

So I watched Sicko [Moore's documentary on Health Care]. And I realized we got ourselves into this huge problem. Namely, the only Western Country to have no universal health care plan. I believe I am fully correct to say the US is a second world country.

But in all seriousness, why the hell is America such a horrible place?! Even though European countries are far from perfect, they at least try to take care of everyone. No homeless people sleep on the streets, free health, constant aid to help citizens eat. Sure there'll a few ditches, but they continue to buffer them out as I speak.

What I am getting at is, this movie/piece of media is a reflection on the American commonplace. I will openly say that the American way is to live in fear, live in debt, not be able to go to Cuba, and be held down from someone above you. I say good people, that's one hell of an American dream you got there.

Of course, I can be bias and this film simply added more flames to my fire of "anti-Americanism", despite I believe deeply in freedom and the dreams that our forefathers set out.

Nevertheless, I feel like Americans are too sheltered from everything. And being sheltered from everything, develops a feeling of fear towards anything new, any change.

I'm the last person to say I accept change openly, but when it comes to something as unemotional, physically important, and generally needed... I pick up the flag of rebellion and change and fight.

Lastly, this brings me to something that surprises me. In Europe, if their country's government treated them the way our government does, they openly say they start a revolutionary war. Here in America, we should be able to rebel-- most guns in the world per capita (even more than the middle east), our poor are practically middle class in even some European countries, and the manpower. We just need to pick up some guns, buy a few weapons (since no one cares who buys weapons, as long as they pay, besides if we are rebelling, we aren't paying taxes, we might as well use our cash the same way the government does for defense), and rally in Washington DC.

And this isn't Un-American! Revolution is suppose to be the American way. Freedom is suppose to be the American way. Not starving to dead, pussy-footin', living in fear!

- Edward U

Past Blasting

Overall, I'm not a big TV person. I rarely watch it, and anything I do watch is a week or so old. As of right now, I really don't have a favorite show or program, and think most new shows suck more then an open door in a space station full of vacuums.

However, I did watch a lot of TV when I was a kid. Most of it was cartoons from Warner Bros or Nickelodeon (more so WB then Nick though), and I have fond memories of sitting around watching The Warner Brothers, and the Warner Sister, do crazy stuff in half an hour intervals.

Thank I was born in this age, since I've now been reliving these moments on this little thing called the internet (A.K.A. the internets, interwebs, or a series of tubes). These shows are becoming my favorites again, and while they can be childish at times, they usually are awesome.

For example, I just got done watching the first two episodes of Gargoyles. Not only is the title theme extremely epic (see here), but it has an interesting concept mixed with awesome voice actors(Goliath sounds radtacular). Also, it has a great music score combined with more drama then you'd expect from a kid's show. Sure, it can be kinda corny, and there is some animation rehashing, but it's still as awesome as ever.

Well, that's all I have time for today. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to watch Goliath lay the smack down on some military dudes.

I'm bad with titles.

Lets get this out of the way right off the bat. I am really bad with making titles for blog posts.

I don't like to play absolute favorites with anything in my life. As such the idea of a "favorite" TV show is difficult. There are many that I enjoy, but picking one standout all-time stellar show to represent myself entirely is just too difficult to me. Perhaps I'm too lazy to think hard enough to decide on a favorite.

I do have quite a few favorites though, too many to narrow down to just one. I'll pick a few to satisfy the theme.

Firefly was not a show I ever watched while it was on TV. I don't know what I was doing around the time that it was first broadcast, but I somehow managed to miss the entire running of this show and did not hear about it until sometime into my later teenage years. Even after hearing the name a lot I was never turned on to the show from the title alone, but after researching the show last year I finally decided to give it a go. This was before Stage6.com was closed, and so all of the episodes were on there for my enjoyment. I loved every minute of the series, and I'm sad that it was destroyed by the fox network.

Doogie Howser is a show I've just recently been turned on to. I was far too young to watch this show when it first aired, considering I was only a few years old, but thanks to websites like Hulu.com I am able to enjoy old television with ease. In fact, I do believe that Firefly is on Hulu as well. I think its time to go re-watch the pilot again.

I leave you with a slice of my childhood that I feel is worthy of posting. I promise I won't talk about Hulu anymore in this entry.

Firefly...Oh man. I may be a sucker for nrrrd grrrls, but does anyone else think that Jewel Staite is really, really cute? I think she is.

Season Finale

So this is the end of this blog. I mean, this is a new beginning.

I had a notion that through this blog we can see how different we all are, and through this see why we are all together posting on this damn thing. SO, enough with the formal crap! Anyone saw the season finale of House MD on Fox?!

I have to admit, I was starting to think this finale would suck in the first 30 minutes, but wow, they really clean up in the second half. It was almost like getting knocked outside the head with a sag of bricks, or to get 5 Volts to the brain (like House). The sad thing was, I started doing the physics of getting a current through your brain... it is quite danger (as 1 Ampere/A/amp is enough to kill you you know).

Nevertheless, the ending got me thinking... do I have [a] best friend[s]? In the end, it seem like House lost his only best friend.

Oh well, this now gives me an idea for this weeks theme. This weeks theme is Television.
You must make a post about your favorite show and how you relate to it. I believe we watch/read stories for something to relate to or something that's totally opposite to our situation, wishing we were there.

Lastly, I haven't been drinking... till today.

- Edward MU

P.S. Drinking fixes everything! XP